In many areas of life, it is easy to believe that moving on quickly is a sign of strength. We tell ourselves to push through, to stay busy, to keep going. Yet when it comes to the inner life, avoidance often carries a hidden cost. What we refuse to face does not disappear, it quietly shapes us.
One of the most important insights from counseling is this, avoidance leads to emotional suppression, and emotional suppression often leads to deeper struggles, including depression. A person may think they are managing their emotions well, but in reality they are slowly numbing their entire emotional world.
It is not possible to selectively suppress only the emotions we dislike. We cannot choose to silence anger while keeping joy untouched. Human emotions are deeply connected. When a person suppresses pain, hurt, or anger, over time they will also begin to lose their sense of gratitude, peace, and happiness. What begins as an attempt to cope eventually results in emotional numbness. This is why many people who avoid difficult feelings eventually say that they feel nothing. That emptiness is not strength, it is the result of long term suppression.
There is a common misunderstanding, especially among sincere believers, that ignoring emotional pain is a form of spiritual strength. In reality, it often reflects fear or uncertainty about how to deal with what lies beneath the surface. True courage looks different. It involves acknowledging what you feel, taking time to reflect on it, inviting the Lord into that place, and then moving forward with clarity and peace. This process is not easy, yet it is the path that leads to genuine healing.
Avoidance does more than suppress emotions, it also fuels anxiety. The pattern is simple. A situation creates anxiety, the person avoids it, avoidance brings temporary relief, but in the long term anxiety grows stronger. Each time this cycle repeats, the problem deepens. What once felt manageable can become overwhelming. Breaking this cycle requires a willingness to gently confront what has been avoided, step by step.
Healing is not instant, and it is rarely linear. In many cases, it unfolds in three meaningful stages, awareness, acceptance, and action. Awareness is recognizing what is affecting you. Acceptance is acknowledging that it needs to be addressed. Action is taking intentional steps toward healing. People often move back and forth between these stages, and that is a normal part of growth.
For believers, one of the most meaningful parts of healing is learning how to bring the Lord into painful places. Many hesitate to do this because of shame. They assume that certain emotions, such as anger or fear, must be hidden from God. Yet true healing begins when we come honestly before Him. Inviting the Lord into your emotions means naming what you feel, bringing it before Him in prayer, asking for clarity and truth, and allowing Scripture to reshape your perspective. God is not distant from our struggles. He meets us in them, and when we open those hidden places to Him, we allow His grace to work where we once felt alone.
At times, the process of healing can feel overwhelming, especially when emotional wounds are deep and layered. This is where wise and godly counsel can be a great help. Just as physical wounds require proper care, emotional wounds benefit from guidance, patience, and structure. Seeking help is not a lack of faith, it is often an expression of humility and wisdom.
If there is something you have been avoiding, consider this a gentle invitation to begin facing it. Not all at once, and not without support, but with honesty and trust in God’s presence. Avoidance may feel easier in the moment, but it leads to greater burden over time. Facing what is difficult, with the Lord’s help, leads to freedom. Healing is possible. It may take time, but it is real, and it is worth pursuing.
He suffered, he died on the cross. He understands deep emotional pain. Think of the Garden of Gethsemane. We just celebrated Resurrection Sunday, Good Friday, all of that. We have a Savior who is intimately acquainted with our pain and suffering.
How has your time as a therapist shaped the way you view pain and suffering?
Suffering always produces something. And if we suffer with the Lord, it produces fruit and something good. That’s the hope and the joy we cling to—that even in the midst of suffering, God is working. The Bible tells us it was for the joy set before Him that He endured the cross. Sometimes in life, things happen that are out of our control—trauma, betrayal, heartbreak—but there is a joy in that suffering. Suffering and joy are not opposites. They can go hand in hand. I’ve experienced this myself: deep suffering often brought the most profound joy and intimacy with the Lord. That perspective shapes my mindset and allows me to offer hope to my clients.
I love that. When I think of Apostle Paul, shipwrecked and beaten, moving from persecutor to persecuted, he writes, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” and learns contentment in all circumstances. When I reflect on our Lord and Savior, who endured the cross for the joy set before Him, it’s beautiful.
As a pastor, I think about our lives and how most people measure everything by the 80 years we have here. But as Christians, we know this life is temporary. Death is not the end. Everything we do is meaningful when viewed in light of eternity.
Knowing this perspective informs our practice. If I can sit with a client and help them see Jesus more clearly, especially if they have a distorted image of Him or are on the brink of losing faith, what an honor that is. Helping someone see Christ’s love and faithfulness—unblurring that image—is foundational to the work I do.
It’s a reminder that pain and suffering are temporary. Think of life like a three-legged stool: spiritual, emotional, and physical health. Neglect one, and life topples. Many go to extremes, focusing on one area and ignoring the others. The Lord calls us back to balance. A holistic approach matters, even in therapy. We look at physical health, daily rhythms, community, and spiritual life. These elements all impact emotional well-being.
For example, simple things like sleep, nutrition, and social support profoundly affect mood. I’ve learned to be very aware of my own emotional state as a teacher, because students feel it if I am off. This awareness of physical, emotional, and spiritual interplay is essential.
Priscilla, how has this work changed you personally and spiritually?
It’s deepened my compassion, giving me a greater understanding that everyone suffers and has battles. It has also shaped my understanding of Jesus: He is gentle, meek, compassionate, tender, yet also a lion with authority. Experiencing this in therapy, inviting the Holy Spirit into the process, gives me a fuller picture of Christ’s love, grace, and compassion.
This also touches on theology. While many churches emphasize penal substitutionary atonement—that Jesus paid for our sins—some approaches, like Christus Victor, emphasize Christ’s victory over sin and death. In therapy, it can be more helpful to highlight Jesus as healer and restorer, someone victorious over what destroys humanity, not just as one who requires us to forgive instantly. Both truths have their place, but understanding Christ’s restorative power meets people where they are in their suffering.
Any final thoughts for listeners?
If therapy has been on your mind but feels intimidating, it can be incredibly beneficial. If you can’t access a therapist, get into community and find someone to disciple you. You don’t have to face this alone. Healing happens in community, in guidance, and in the presence of Christ. Isolation allows shame and spiraling thoughts to grow. Find people to walk alongside you.
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