What does it really mean to be a Christian?
For many of us, the answer is shaped by what we do or do not do. We may define Christianity by the rules we follow, the things we avoid, the church we attend, the way we worship, or the theological traditions we have inherited.
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But Scripture gives us a deeper answer.
The Christian life is not ultimately about modifying our outward behavior. It is about the transformation of the heart through Jesus Christ.
Why Are We So Different?
I am the youngest of seven children. We grew up with the same parents, in the same household, attended the same schools, and were raised with many of the same values. Yet my siblings and I are remarkably different.
One of my brothers is a perfectionist. He notices details that I would never notice. If I cleaned the kitchen, he might inspect it and tell me that it needed to be cleaned again. Today, that same attention to detail has become one of his strengths, and he serves his church in a role where that gift is valuable.
I am almost the opposite. I tend to think abstractly. I enjoy talking, teaching, and building relationships. Details and numbers are not naturally where my strengths lie.
Even within the same family, people make different choices, develop different personalities, and emphasize different things.
That is part of what makes humanity beautiful. God did not create an army of robots. He created human beings with wills, personalities, desires, and the capacity to make choices.
But our individuality also creates conflict.
This is especially true within the church.
The Two Extremes: Legalism and Licentiousness
I grew up in a very conservative Pentecostal environment. There were many rules about what Christians could and could not do.
We could not have Christmas trees. We could not wear ties. We could not dance. Tattoos and piercings were forbidden. We did not have a television in the house. Secular music was prohibited. Video games were not allowed.
Even clapping in church was considered questionable.
I remember eventually reading Psalm 47:1, which says, “Clap your hands, all peoples.” I remember thinking, Wait a minute. I have been told my entire life that I cannot clap in church, yet Scripture tells the nations to clap.
As I grew older and studied theology, I began to recognize that some of the traditions I had inherited were not necessarily biblical commands.
But there is another danger.
After moving away from that environment, I encountered churches and Christians who had gone in almost the opposite direction. If legalism says, “You cannot do this,” the opposite extreme says, “Everything is permissible.”
The pursuit of pleasure can become the governing principle of life.
Scripture warns us about sexual immorality, drunkenness, pornography, greed, selfishness, gluttony, lust, substance abuse, pride, envy, anger, gossip, and living for pleasure.
These are two very different extremes.
On one side is legalism.
On the other is licentiousness.
But surprisingly, both can have the same underlying problem.
Both can be attempts to live according to the flesh.
The Older Brother and the Younger Brother
This is one reason Jesus’ parable in Luke 15 is so powerful.
We often call it the “Parable of the Prodigal Son,” but the story is really about two sons.
The younger son rejects his father’s household. He takes his inheritance, leaves home, and wastes everything. Eventually, he finds himself in desperate circumstances and realizes that he needs to return to his father.
And when he returns, the father welcomes him.
The father celebrates.
The son who was lost has been found.
But then we encounter the older brother.
The older brother is angry.
He has stayed home. He has served his father. He has done what was expected of him. Yet now his father is celebrating the return of the younger brother.
The older brother essentially says, “I have done everything right. I have served you faithfully. Why are you celebrating him?”
The father responds by reminding him that this is not simply “your father’s son.”
He is your brother.
The younger brother had been lost, but now he was found.
The older brother had remained in the father’s house, but his heart had become bitter.
That is the danger of religious pride.
The younger brother represents the person who runs away from God into sin and indulgence.
The older brother represents the person who stays near God outwardly while becoming distant from Him inwardly.
One needs repentance from rebellion.
The other needs repentance from self-righteousness.
Both need grace.
The Problem Goes All the Way Back to Abraham
This tension between God’s promise and human effort goes all the way back to Genesis.
God called Abraham when he was seventy-five years old and promised that he would become the father of a great nation.
But Abraham waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Eventually, Abraham and Sarah attempted to accomplish God’s promise through their own means. Sarah gave her servant Hagar to Abraham, and Ishmael was born.
But Ishmael was not the son God had promised.
Abraham had attempted to accomplish God’s supernatural promise through human effort.
That is an important lesson for us.
We cannot accomplish the purposes of God through the flesh.
Sometimes we try to force God’s promises through our own effort, wisdom, manipulation, or self-discipline.
We become impatient with God.
We decide that because God is taking too long, we need to make something happen ourselves.
But God’s answer to Abraham was not simply, “Try harder.”
God established a covenant and gave Abraham a physical sign of that covenant, circumcision.
Circumcision became a sign that Abraham and his descendants belonged to God.
But eventually, God’s people began to place their confidence in the sign rather than in God Himself.
They could say, “I am circumcised. I belong to Abraham. Therefore, I belong to God.”
But the external sign was never the ultimate point.
God wanted something deeper.
He wanted the heart.
From Circumcision of the Flesh to Circumcision of the Heart
This is where the New Testament becomes so important.
Paul repeatedly confronts the idea that external religious markers make someone righteous before God.
In Philippians 3:3, Paul says that believers are the true circumcision, those who worship by the Spirit of God, glory in Christ Jesus, and put no confidence in the flesh.
Romans 2:28-29 similarly teaches that true circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit.
The point is unmistakable.
God is not merely interested in what happens to our bodies.
He is interested in what happens to our hearts.
That is why Paul can say in Colossians 2 that believers have experienced a circumcision “made without hands,” through Christ.
The old physical sign pointed toward a deeper spiritual reality.
In Christ, the heart is transformed.
Baptism and the New Life in Christ
Colossians 2 connects this transformation with baptism.
We are buried with Christ in baptism and raised with Him through faith.
The imagery is powerful.
The old person dies.
The new person rises.
Christianity is therefore not merely a collection of rules.
It is not simply, “Do not smoke. Do not drink. Do not party. Do not dance. Do not listen to this kind of music.”
Nor is Christianity the opposite message, “Do whatever you want because grace covers everything.”
The gospel goes deeper than either extreme.
The gospel says that Christ changes you from the inside out.
“Do Not Handle, Do Not Taste, Do Not Touch”
Paul addresses this very issue in Colossians 2.
He warns against regulations based on human commands, including the attitude that says, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch.”
Such rules can appear religious and wise.
They can make us look disciplined.
They can make us feel morally superior.
But Paul says they ultimately have no power to stop the indulgence of the flesh.
That is an important distinction.
External restrictions cannot produce internal transformation.
You can change someone’s behavior temporarily through rules.
But only God can transform the heart.
That is why simply adding more rules does not solve our deepest problem.
The heart needs to be changed.
The Tie Is Easy. The Heart Is Hard.
There is a simple illustration that captures this.
Putting on a tie is easy.
Taking off a tie is easy.
Changing the color of the church is easy.
Changing the style of worship is easy.
Changing whether a congregation has a Christmas tree is easy.
Changing the heart is hard.
Yet we often substitute easy external changes for difficult internal transformation.
We fight over worship styles.
We fight over clothing.
We fight over traditions.
We fight over food, festivals, Sabbaths, and countless other issues.
Meanwhile, the question Jesus asks is much deeper:
Has your heart been transformed?
What Does It Mean When You Say, “I Am a Christian”?
This is perhaps the most important question we can ask ourselves.
When I was younger, if someone asked me what it meant to be a Christian, I might have answered:
“I don’t smoke.”
“I don’t drink.”
“I don’t go to parties.”
“I don’t dance.”
“I don’t listen to secular music.”
In other words, I defined Christianity by what I did not do.
Someone else might define Christianity by what they do.
“I go to church.”
“I read the Bible.”
“I serve.”
“I follow the right traditions.”
“I use the right Bible translation.”
But neither definition reaches the heart of Christianity.
Going to church does not make someone a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes someone a car.
The Christian life is not fundamentally about being the person who avoids everything or the person who participates in everything.
The Christian life is about Christ living in us.
When I say, “I am a Christian,” I should ultimately be able to say:
Christ is changing me.
He is changing my heart.
He is changing my desires.
He is changing my motives.
He is changing my thoughts.
He is teaching me to love God and love my neighbor.
He is transforming me into His likeness.
Trusting God Instead of the Flesh
This brings us back to Abraham.
One of the hardest things for us to do is wait on God.
We often know what we want, and we want it now.
When God seems slow, we are tempted to take control.
We think, I have to make this happen.
But sometimes the very thing we are trying to accomplish is something only God can accomplish.
The question is not simply, “What do I want?”
The deeper question is:
Can I trust God with what I want?
For me, one of the areas where this has been especially challenging has been singleness.
Marriage is a beautiful gift, but marriage itself is not the ultimate goal. The deeper issue is whether I am willing to trust God with my desires rather than attempt to force His purposes through my own methods.
The same principle applies to every area of life.
Maybe you are waiting for a spouse.
Maybe you are waiting for a child to return to the Lord.
Maybe you are waiting for a job.
Maybe you are waiting for healing.
Maybe you are waiting for direction.
Maybe you are praying for someone whose life seems to be moving in the wrong direction.
The temptation is always to take control.
But we must ask:
Am I trusting God, or am I trying to accomplish God’s purposes through the flesh?
God Can Change a Heart
There is an important lesson here for parents, pastors, spouses, and friends.
We can influence people.
We can teach them.
We can encourage them.
We can warn them.
But ultimately, we cannot change another person’s heart.
Only God can do that.
If someone has walked away from the faith, we should not become indifferent. We should pray. We should love. We should speak truth.
But we must also trust God.
The same God who transformed the heart of the prodigal can transform the heart of your son, daughter, spouse, friend, or neighbor.
God can accomplish more in a moment than we could accomplish through decades of human effort.
That does not mean we become passive.
It means we learn to walk with God rather than run ahead of Him.
The Gospel Gives Us What the Law Cannot
There is a beautiful saying attributed to John Bunyan:
“The law commands it, but gives us no feet or hands. Far better news is the gospel that bids us fly and gives us wings.”
The law can tell us what is right.
But the gospel gives us Christ.
The gospel does not merely tell us to become better people.
It gives us the power of a new life in Christ.
That is the hope of Christianity.
We are not saved because we have perfectly cleaned ourselves up.
We are not saved because we avoided the wrong things.
We are not saved because we followed enough religious rules.
We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.
And that same Christ who saves us also transforms us.
Where Are You Trusting the Flesh?
So consider your own life.
Where are you tempted to rely on yourself instead of God?
Where are you trying to force something that God has asked you to trust Him with?
Where have you substituted religious rules for genuine transformation?
Where have you confused outward behavior with inward holiness?
And perhaps most importantly:
What competes with Christ for your trust, attention, and devotion?
Legalism needs Christ.
Licentiousness needs Christ.
Pride needs Christ.
Brokenness needs Christ.
Human effort needs Christ.
Worldly wisdom needs Christ.
Sin needs Christ.
Every one of us needs Christ.
The answer is not simply to move from one extreme to another.
The answer is to come to Jesus.
Christ Changes the Heart
The gospel calls us to freedom, but Christian freedom is not an opportunity to indulge the flesh.
It is freedom to love God.
It is freedom to serve others.
It is freedom to walk by the Spirit.
It is freedom from the exhausting attempt to prove ourselves through religious performance.
The substance belongs to Christ.
So let us stop putting our confidence in the flesh.
Let us stop defining Christianity merely by external rules.
Let us stop looking down on those who do not share all of our traditions.
And let us stop using grace as an excuse for sin.
Instead, let us ask God to transform our hearts.
Because the deepest mark of Christianity is not a particular style of clothing, worship, music, or tradition.
It is a heart that belongs to Jesus.
Christ lives in me, and He is changing me.
That is the Christian life.