I can’t ask you to live for me, but we each have to carry our own burdens. You’re like an explorer; you’re further down the road. You’ve gone on ahead. So if you don’t continue after a while, I’ll know that the road is too hard and has been too long. I’ll know that, in the end, unhappiness wins.
Well, today is Black Friday, and one of the most depressing things that I’ve read online is that in the United Kingdom, they are getting ready to pass legislation to make it legal for a person who is experiencing a lot of pain and suffering to be assisted in dying.
We live in very interesting times where life is only appreciated if someone is happy and healthy, as if pain and suffering do not teach us anything at all.
Now, of course, it’s easier for me to say that assisted suicide is wrong and morally reprehensible because I am not going through pain right now. I want to speculate a little more about what this says about the culture that we live in and the lasting unintended consequences of such a decision.
I’m reminded of the movie Hope Gap, where, after a messy separation, an older couple is dealing with the pain and loss of their relationship, and their son visits home for the weekend. There’s a specific scene in which the mother is talking to the son, and she admits to thinking about suicide, but because she is Catholic, she does not dare to do it.
From what I understand, this movie is based on a true story, and the real couple never got divorced until the mother passed away. It’s a beautiful film that raises a lot of questions, specifically questions about ending one’s life if it gets too difficult. I remember from that film the son talking to the mom about the pain of her divorce.
Jamie (Son): So if your life hurts you so much that you want to end it, I won’t stop you. Out of my love for you, just tell me. Don’t let it be a surprise. Give me time to say goodbye.
Mom: You must’ve known some sad, dark times to say that to me.
Jamie (Son): I can’t ask you to live for me. But we each have to carry our own burdens. You’re like an explorer. You’re further down the road. You’ve gone on ahead. So if, after a while, you don’t go on anymore, then I’ll know that the road is too hard and has gone on for too long. I’ll know that in the end, unhappiness wins. But if you do go on and bear it, terrible as it is, then I’ll know that however bad it gets, I can last it out because you did before me.
While this is definitely a humanistic perspective, I do think that it points to the reality that we do not live and suffer by ourselves. Our lives are lived in front of other people who are also dealing with pain and suffering, and when we choose to give up our lives preach a sermon of hopelessness.
This is why, no matter how difficult things get, choosing to stay in the fight is worth it for those around us. It’s worth it for us, and it’s also worth it in light of eternity. In the end, sadness and happiness will not win only if you choose not to give up.
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